Thursday

Since we already gathered for Thanksgiving, today just feels like Thursday. I am told my weeks will pretty much follow last week’s pattern, so even though I feel pretty good this morning, I anticipate going downhill throughout the day and feeling fairly lousy til about noon tomorrow. God is bigger than probabilities, and maybe I’ll have a good day. We will see.

Yesterday was a really good day. I had the “normal” painful red-purple face rash caused by steroids given with chemo (to prevent reactions to the chemo, ironically), but that was really all. I had some energy to do things around the house. I made banana bread, helped Linnea with some sewing, and even ran errands and had supper at Subway with a couple of my girls. We made a long overdue visit to Grandma Sylvia and had a good chat.

I’m aware that it’s Thanksgiving day, and I think I will observe it better this year than I usually do. Generally on this day, I’m up at dawn cooking, cleaning, and stewing. I absolutely love hosting Thanksgiving Dinner, but I get a little wound up the morning of, trying to finish all the last minute things and making sure everything hits the table simultaneously and hot. We say the requisite prayers and things we are thankful for, and that’s great. Today, though, In the relative quiet of my house, I have time to think. I will have the opportunity and occasion to look around, literally and figuratively, and really see all the blessings that surround me. I will take the time to greet each of my children and thank God for him or her. I’m grateful that God has carved this time out for me (see what I did there?).

To anyone reading, bless you. I pray for each of you a day filled with blessings and gratitude, whether it’s still Thanksgiving Day or not. I pray that you will find God in the little things every day, and that you will see His grace and mercy everywhere you look. He is all around us, if we will just take the time to look and listen.

. . . that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us. . . Acts 17:27 ESV

Thankful

Thursday and Friday were up and down. My side effects seem to be rather bipolar and swing from feeling pretty good to just plain garbage. So far, I’ve had a number of different things happening, none of them horrible. If things stay this way throughout treatment, I will be one of the “lucky” ones. Though I’m already weary of the sitting and feeling lousy, I’m not horribly ill like so many people with chemotherapy. I’m so grateful and aware of how much worse things could be. God is good.

Today is Thanksgiving for my family. We are a big crew, and since some are traveling over the actual holiday, we scheduled for today. I’m so glad we did, as it looks like Thursdays will be one of my rougher days. I am sad that one of our daughters and her baby are sick, so they won’t be able to come. We will miss them.

Thanksgiving shouldn’t be something we only do once a year, when an over commercialized holiday prompts us. It should be daily. Thankfulness is something I strive for in my life. I believe it’s a source of joy that keeps me thinking about the blessings rather than focusing on what I am discontent with in my life. I often lose sight of the blessings and have to be deliberate about giving thanks. Here are a few things on my list today:

Today, I’m thankful for a small, colorless bruise that led to the early detection of my breast cancer.

I’m thankful for advanced medicine and the blessing of health care.

I’m thankful for an amazing husband, who walks this road with me. If I have cancer, we have cancer.

I’m thankful for the best kids any mom could ask for. They love me and care for me so well.

I’m thankful for my parents. They have their own daily struggles, yet they walk beside me and care for me. Most of all, they pray.

I’m thankful that God has given me so many friends and other family members to encourage me, send cards, drive me to appointments, and just check in.

Most of all, I am thankful for the God who orchestrates all these things. None of these is in place by happenstance. Every single tiny detail of my life is coordinated and created for my good and His glory. I am thankful.