No, thank you.

My mom called last night. Her church group is having a ladies’ meeting and they wonder if I’ll speak. Immediate panic. I don’t “speak.” I don’t like crowds and I especially don’t like being in front of them.

Writing is different. I can pause and think. I can take time to look for the right words. I don’t have to make or avoid eye contact or pretend the readers are all in their underwear. It’s safer. And if I cry, nobody sees.

But then I think about the last 5 months and all that I’ve been through. All the fears I’ve faced and conquered, all the noise I’ve made about being willing for God to use me and this situation for His glory.

One of my all time favorite verses is about being a jar of clay, through which Christ’s light can shine. If I’m clay, that means I’m plain and ordinary and unremarkable. I can identify with that. Nothing amazing comes from regular clay pots. The point is that any beauty seen is from what is within the pot. It’s not too often that we see a gorgeous bouquet of flowers and are more impressed by the vase.

Do I want to be a guest speaker? No, thank you. Am I willing to be a jar of clay and brave enough to let Jesus shine through me? I’m willing, but I’m not brave. I guess we’ll see how this goes.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that this all-surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Corinthians 4:7

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I'm a homeschool mom and the proud wife of a hard working farmer. We live in the sticks and drive 20 miles to a town of any size. I live to serve the One who saved my soul, and He daily loads me with blessings. I started this blog to share my journey through breast cancer. So far, I have only done a few warm up stretches, and I pray I will remain faithful and be an encouragement to others traveling this road with me. I know this journey will be rough, but I also know it will be perfect, because my God does all things well. I am not afraid.