Drifting

The business and hubbub of Christmas is over. New Year’s has come and gone and life is settling into one big bout of cabin fever.

I have been given all of this time to focus and dwell and lean into the Lord, and yet, I find myself drifting. It seems that boredom grows and swallows everything, to the point that I simply have no drive left.

Exhaustion adds to that, and the idea of being mentally challenged is taxing. Consequently, the last week or so has held very little meaningful motion in any direction. This is not okay with me. I hate the idea of people simply existing–eating and breathing and not doing anything remotely productive or worthwhile. And here I am, doing precisely that.

Okay, I’m being a little hard on myself. I am still maintaining relationships and parenting. I am getting a few things done. But I’m also squandering set-aside time that I could be seeking and growing.

Spring is coming fast and with it will arrive the end of treatment, the return of my energy, and the busyness of life. I will have to be intentional about finding time to spend in the Word then. I will have to make time and be sure my quiet time is a priority. I won’t have the luxury I have now to just sit and ponder and pray.

Since mental energy is expensive right now, plowing through book after book is simply not realistic. But I can meditate and study a verse or two. I can see old things with new eyes and ponder them. I can enjoy worship music and let it soak in as I rest.

My goal today is to make good use of what I’ve been given. I will take the opportunity and gift that everyone seems to be looking for–time. It is a precious commodity and I have it in spades.

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perfectjourney19

I'm a homeschool mom and the proud wife of a hard working farmer. We live in the sticks and drive 20 miles to a town of any size. I live to serve the One who saved my soul, and He daily loads me with blessings. I started this blog to share my journey through breast cancer. So far, I have only done a few warm up stretches, and I pray I will remain faithful and be an encouragement to others traveling this road with me. I know this journey will be rough, but I also know it will be perfect, because my God does all things well. I am not afraid.

3 thoughts on “Drifting”

  1. Easier said than done, I imagine. I also look at deep winter as a time to look inward and do some major spiritual house cleaning. Being an introvert I look forward to it and I don’t mind being still. Of course, this does nothing for getting rid of the excess holiday weight! Will worry about that later…

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  2. Have you ever listened to the Bible Gateway Audio Bible? Their “Reader version” is dramatized–different voices and sound affects, but the text is straight NIV. Very interesting to listen to. You can stream on the Internet and don’t have to buy the whole thing.

    LeAnne Hardy

    l eannehardy@gmail.com Website: http://www.leannehardy.net My blog: Times and Places

    On Mon, Jan 6, 2020 at 9:20 AM A Rough and Perfect Journey wrote:

    > perfectjourney19 posted: ” The business and hubbub of Christmas is over. > New Year’s has come and gone and life is settling into one big bout of > cabin fever. I have been given all of this time to focus and dwell and lean > into the Lord, and yet, I find myself drifting. It seems ” >

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